The life of a human-like bonobo

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My genetics project worked! Yay4me. I never thought that the DNA replication would work, but it came through in the end. I am officially heterozygous at the 100 and 400 bands for ALU insertion. Thrilling? Obviously.

On a side note.....

life is going to suck hard soon.

First of all: http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1599358/

Second of all: Tuesday is around the corner. I get to go home with kraezi kedi-katt and magnanimous-(yet minutely-peniled) matt. We are even going out to lunch. YAY4us. Also that day i am going to see Harry Potter with Kedi. The fun will never stop.

I see catherine on friday...I think. No idea what we are doing. Most likely getting food. I have no idea why but i just have this insane desire to see her. It's weird, I just want to actually see her with my eyes, like SEE her. It's just some weird paranoia I have because i havent seen her in so long.

Tomorow I have to write a full lab report and a 2 page paper. Help me.

If anyone buys me a sign that says penguin crossing. I will have sex with them. No questions asked. Trust me, it's worth it. My address is 420 Wills, +some road, +some po box for UVM. IDK, find it online im too lazy. JUST SEND IT TO ME.

P.S. I won't suply condoms or sex toys, bring whatever you want.



On a different note:

Catherine is comming home soon. I get to see her and i will feel better. No, i dont want her bone like everyone keeps asking me. You guys are weirdos.

Matt gets to move to H.Millis. Lucky bastard. Some of us, unfortunately, still live with a sleeper. i.e. he sleeps all day, I AM NOT JOKING I SWEAR!

There will be more updates soon.

Perhaps tomorow after my exciting haircut at the cool place.

<3 to all my bitches and hoes.

http://www.rainbowbrite.net/

It is my home,
It is my way,
the rainbow leads me all the way,
her powers many,
her weakness's few,
Rainbow always knows what to do!

GO GO RAINBOW BRITE.

As if that didn't inspire you enough...OMG I LOVE STARLIGHT THE HORSE. I used to have a custom horse-head-on-a-stick toy when i was little that WAS Starlight. ::sigh:: my parents TRIED TO MAKE ME GAY. Those crazy sons of bitches!!! Anyways, I will do ANYTHING ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH FOR YOU if you can get me a video of episodes. I swear on my life I am going to every place I can find in burlington tomorow to look for it. I'll update my quest log later.

Also, I know this all seems retarded, but if you know me at all, you know I worship rainbow. Well, starlight mostly, rainbow's kinda ugly. But anyways, wow, enough about that.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww who in their right mind would let matt create drinks? GOD. The nasty vodka-gatorade concoctions ::gag:: that one sucks. Also, i think we can now rule out orange soda as a decent chaser. Also, IMO, Vodka is for shots. Not mixing. Rum is for mixing. But I think i prefer shots. Something about taking them makes me happy....but that could just be the alcohol?

<3

My kid was near-perfect, all of the staff were awsome. Family A was quite obviously the best. Not even saying that. We just had no huge problems. The spirit was good, the people were good, I got to wear a mini-skirt...good times.

 

P.S. Catherine, dont worry, I'm watching you via satelite :)

Going to the fair today. Then late movie. Anyone that wants to come should call 265-9955 (before 12) or my cell, after 12. Eye appoint. at 1 so between 1 and 1:30 dont call, or well, you can, but I wont pick up, so leave a message. Just Amber and Me so far, and I wont see anyone ever again b/c of camp...so, LETS HANG!

P.S. I was attacked by an amizon woman with a scimitar at the mall yesterday, so I have a bad haircut, send help.

WHO'S THE MASTER NOW?!

DAYBREAK IS IN 3 DAYS!!!!! MEG IS A GODDESS FOR MAKING ME GO! SHE IS ALSO THE COOLEST GIRL IN THE WORLD! SHE IS A FLIPPIN AMAZING DRIVER AND MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO CAROLYN AND PICKEL. IF I DIDN'T KNOW HER I WOULD CRY AND CURL UP.


MELVIN LIVES ON!

<3

So this thought has been bugging me for like...what now, 2ish days? At Stewarts I got the impression that Jess thought I had a ... how should I put this... large D!cK. So yea, I think that was because I made a comment about it before, because obviously I wasn't wearing underwear...no joke! Now, it is quite possible, and now that I think it through, even probable, that they were talking about someone else. Lets hope!!!

Also, Meg why would you think I hated you? I LOVE YOU!!! I also am really happy with Jes now, because she saved my life. She is my hero for 'taking one for the team.' I was just in one of those moods, and I feel bad, because you know that I wasn't exactly happy-dappy with a certain someone. It's just my PMS. No worries.

I just had two weird thoughts while getting food. In the store, they just put up a 'On Sale' sign for the Red Bull. That made me think of catherine, and the fact that I 'might' never see her again b/c i have daybreak training, then I actually leave for it. Ouch. Then, I was quickly distracted by a HUGE bowl of whipped cream that brought amber to mind. It actually reminded me of frosting, that reminded me of dohnuts. That thought train led me then to matt. Thats when I realized that I see them both at UVM. Wow, problems solved?

(Please note the cooling and water-like blue color)

Not much to say.  Been really hot lately.  In a lot of ways.  Owch!  The sun is fierce.  However, If you ever catch me complaining, slap me b/c I am full of shit.  I live on a lake retards.  I dont actually get hot.  Not only is it like 5 degrees cooler there, but I can just jump in.  Mwa ha ha!!!  Yea, so take it. 

Wow, that sounded stuck up.  Oh well, I am in one of those 'I hate everyone' moods.  Last night was a lot of fun.  That actually has something to do with the sentence before it though, nm, i'll tell you when you're older.

Sometimes I feel really imature.  OMG!  That reminds me.  In the Wedding Crashers movie...omg, I found the perfect woman.  OK, remember the psycho sex-addict girl the tied the guy up, and jerked him under the table etc?  That is hot.  Thats all I can say.  No more for now, getting to inappropriate.  I better go look at some, hmmm, educational sites or something.  See yas!

<3

Boy do I love ice cream.  Wow.  But no, stupid meg lit the machine on fire and I had to suffer.  It was OK though b/c I did get a nice cookies ice cream thing.  Pfft....grrrrr. 

Wow, that night was fun though! I love the Dukes of Hazard.  Great movie IMO.  Go see it.  Denny's is fun too, but sometimes we eat way to much belgian waffle.  Oh well, that was a lot of the stuff from my list that I wanted to accomplish, and yay, I did it.  Today I am sitting inside.  It is really nice outside, and I need a tan more than fat people need a diet.  Oh well, not like it would help.  I swear i could stay out there for maybe 3 or 4 hours and JUST BARELY get pink for a while.  No use I guess, so I'll stick to this cool(literally) place.

Bleh, the browns are comming over tonight, and some random guy and his familly too.  I have no idea who they are but the Mrs. Brown and my dad know the guy.  Whacko, fuck if I want to meet the guy.  Remember, I hate everyone.

Monday I really have to have a heart to heart with my boss about work, uhhhhhhh why must I be such a pussy?  This is how things get out of control.  I should be more of a rebel care free person, that way everyone could hate me instead of me hating everyone.  Sweet.

WARNING:  Do not look at the following picture if you are easilly grossed out.  I did a google search for bonobo b/c I was bored, and this pic is spooky.  Its from some frenchish site or something and I am too lazy to translate, so I will have to assume that they grew a bonobo fetus in this woman?  It is scarey to think about, gah, disgusting!  here it is...look away...eeek:

Shhhhh....the office is dark and spooky.  The big boss thinks I leave tuesday, the guy that gives me work has no idea...and I think that I am done today.  Ouch, what a problem.  I'll talk to big boss when he gets back about that, hmmmm. 

Also, who knew stalkers where so much fun?  I'm not sure how they actually find you, but I have been getting like, at least 2-3 messages a day from random girls on myspace...I keep them all lol.  I would post some of them here, but i might have to censor it!  I'm just glad they don't know me in RL b/c surely they wouldn't think I was all-that then haha.  Oh well, good times.  (p.s. no 40 yr old farmers yet, but i'm trying to seduce them, I swear)

OK, and well, tonight is friday.  Apparently everyone who is anyone is going out tonight for a movie.  Or at least that is what amber is telling me.  It's like a last night out type thing.  So, i'll see if that gets arranged.  Either way, I want to go to the movies tonight.  An optimal day would be:  get out of work->go home->no one is home->a sexy naked girl in high heels is on my bed->*cencored*->get calls from amber->go to movies and have tons of fun->eat a belgian waffle at denny's perhaps->get in my car->*cencored*

Good times...

 

Oh yea, check out the music vid on www.myspace.com/arch_bedazzler_julian  I pick the winners! 

P.S. help...all the font sizes went psycho...dont hate me ::cry::

Holy invasivness!  What a day...  Lets start with the nurse and her HOT daughter.  Then there was the actual doctor.  Things get even crazier now that daybreak is approaching.

 

Wow, obviously I am a sexy beast.  There is no denial here, right?  Well, I think we all remember the incident from two years ago where the very attractive nurse at my doctors was drooling on me and telling me she wanted me to date her daughter.  She even offered her phone number but somehow I dodged the subject.  The whole thing was really really really awkward.  So anyways, two years later and she came back to my clinic!!!  As soon as she saw me she put her hands to her face and said, 'Oh my god!  I was just thinking of you yesterday!  My daughter has been going through all these hard times with her boyfriend lately and I was like "where is that Julian when I need him?"...'  OK, this was really a nice thing of her to say I guess, but I was so embarassed.  I made light of the situation with small talk and she thought I was really amazing still I guess, whatever.  She finds me flawless and that is either desperation or some weird gene in her blood or something.  Or maybe I just am a super pimp.  Either way, she ended up bringing me in a picture of her daughter.  When she was giving me a shot she took like an hour explaining how firm my arms were and making silly jokes about how I must have been flexing.  The whole thing seemed so comic and unreal.  At that point my stupid mother comes in and starts to ACTUALLY TRY TO HOOK US UP!  After she figured out what was going on she found out that the girl works at fire and ice.  Well, OF COURSE since I can never get into middleburry, they are going to start calling and trying to meet me for dinner at the Lakehouse.  Can you believe this?  Is this not even a tiny bit wierd?  The poor girl will either be infatuated with me like her horny mother or maybe (and probably) just paralized with embarassment and shame.  Uhhhhhh H-E-L-P!!!  It sux being a sexy be-otch.

So now it's time for the doctor and we start with basic food info and excercise info and stuff like that.  All very boring.  She is easy to talk to and just gives me the sorta 'once-over'.  I was impressed.  I did have to sorta lie and say that I dont drink soda(b/c I drink too much coffee for my age I guess...) but that is fine by me.  Then she asked me to lay down.  So, naturally I make a lot of sound effects.  Well, as she was 'pushing' my torso down onto the bed, I sorta gasped.  Well, that noise happened as she was pulling up my shirt.  Soooooo she got nervous and asked me if I was all right.  [If you havent picked up on how sexual and dirty this sounds, then you suck].  I told her that I was fine and she began to give me the kinky organ-feely massage that she does.  Then, before she could even tell me, 'I'm going to look at your penis and testes now' she had my belt off and my pants open.  I give her an amazing amount of credit for that skill.  It took her forever in examining me.  Very embarassing.  Wow. 

Daybreak is so soon.  I think I go up on the tenth?  My last day of work is the friggin' 9th.  WOW.  I mean, the boss said I can change my days however I want so it's not a problem, and I may just tell him that I'm done.  I have no idea what to expect at camp, but I know I will have lots of fun.  It sounds silly but I really do enjoy getting my energy out and working with kids. 

Not A ton to say.  Horny-ness is at an all time high b/c I am going to the doctors today and we can't look incriminating...in any way...ewwww.  Probably going to stop in at Amberito's to check out the new car.  The mother is with me so I prolly cant stay long.  Later there could be shopping.  Lets play the call-me-game.  I just put 800ish dollars in the bank.  I feel like my debit card weighs twice as much these days!  Very exciting.  Lots of other little problems lately.  Work mostly, but other things too.  Basically I am good or today.  Conscience is a little sore, but oh well.  Everyone has their days I guess.

P.S. No I do not want to go visit some crazy pastor!  I dont care how much cheese he has!!!!  Cool kids only hang out with:

<3

You should really just  

because you are thinking about it the

 

Work actually stops on tuesday now...cutting it close!

So I guess I see everything different today.    I am happy, but not content.  I don't feel bad for anyone that I should feel bad for, and I do feel bad for someone that I shouldn't.  I wonder if good people that go terribly wrong can ever go right again?  Because, I am finding it more and more intriguing how certain people manage to screw themselves up and still bitch about it so much.

I am just now starting to  not fear college and instead crave it.  It finalizes a lot of malcontent.

 

Daybreak = Soon!

Physical by a woman = Sooner!!!

I dedicate this picture to everyone who I know likes to do funky dances with me:

So yesterday was another day at "The Farm."  Later on I got some more "Excercise" with the Donna.  Then there was "Voyaging With Catherine."  Lastly, I got a call from "Amber."

 

• So do I need to tell you how sweet the farm is?  No, it is just amazing.  The grapes are almost ripe, I dont care about the blueberries, and the apples are so amazing!  They are getting riper(sp?) by the DAY!!!  I cant wait to gorge on them this autumn...fresh apples really rock.  Also, the property is huge.  Not sure if I explained this, but going up the different plateau steppe thingies brings you to new fields.  Basically you have a huge layer of apple trees all over.  Then you step up to cool fields of Queen-Anne's Lace, then there is one field all of mint.  However, all of them have huge 'clumps' of prickers.  BLEH!  Then if you get up all 328 1/2 fields, you can go back down and go across to the other side of the property and head down to the pimped-out river.  Waterfalls, however small, are sweeeeet.  I mean, you can really get tumbling there.  Awsome stuff.
• Excercise hurts!  I go and jog every day, plus every other day is crunch day.  Plus there is also tricep day...and I kinda gave up on biceps b/c I hate doing those curls.  Anyways, I need to run more, but the SUN IS FIERCE!  What the fuck?  How am I supposed to keep up any pace when I am fading away from sun-stroke?  Yea...BLSKDJFLSJDFE:LKFJLSEHFLKSEJFLKSJEf!!!  1/2.   Also, where the hell are the results?  I should be skinny by now.  I need to lose weight so I can gain it back in college...
• Wow, for anyone that doesn't ever drive with me...just dont.  I suck at driving, really.  I have never crashed or had an accident.  Well, one time for some reason I sorta 'bumped' into a car in the mall parking lot, but it was K-mart, so I didn't really care, that doesn't count.  Anyways, We decided to go to Rutland and go to something kinda like sorta maybe called Little Harries?  Or dirty Harries, who knows.  Apparently it was a really up-scale place.  Long story turned really short, I couldn't find a parking spot.  But then I sorta could, but pansy-mode activated and somehow we ended up at the FH Inn.  Now...I was stupid.  I really thought my parents would be at the Iron Lantern with friends...but no, there they were.  Things got worse when we saw the parents of people who shouldn't have known that we were out and about.  That was bad too.  Also, poor Catherine had to meet uncle Dominic, George Bush, and his young mistress.  YARG!  The best part of that night...well wait, hmmm.  It would either be my mother rubbing catherine's head and saying "I love you Catherine" or maybe this old man at a nearby table yelling something about a "Tiny Wee Wee"  who knows.  Lastly, I got to put another notch on the tree of 'Hatred from Catherine's mother'  EEK!
• So after dinner and things I get home and my mother is up and I can hear her laughing her ass off from a mile away.  She is watching blue coller comedy for like the 100th time or something.  So I decide to leave her to her fun and round up our cats outside.  Somehow she thought that I was really depressed.  Nooooooooo idea how she could pick up on that.  Honestly, but she says it's a hair flippy-thing I do...which is weird, but not part of the story.  So anyways, long story short, she ends up helping me get the cats all in, then puts me in a room with them all.  So obviously I kick out the large two and play with the kitten while I proceed to stay up watching TV untill about, hmm, 1:00 or 1:30.  Thank an aquatic turtle that she called b/c she was so drunk that I almost did a cartwheel of joy.  Talking to drunk people is my new job, simply b/c I get so much pleasure from it.  ALSO!  And of much greater import, amber has a car.  Some sweet pimpin' gold beast.  Very very exciting to hear, let me tell you!  Ahh, then later, like right after I went to be after watching, "Simply Sex with Drew" I was called by some phantom phone, let me find the number...ok, here we go, so if you called me last night at 1:38 and your number is 779-7464 let me know who you are.  I have no listing of that number in my phone at all, not in received or missed calls, NOTHING!  Who could it be??????????

 

 <--- You Can't Deny That This I Fun To Watch...

So, a basic overview right now is:

8:30...should be sleeping

8:30...Cranky b/c I have to talk to boss about leaving work next week

8:30...Stretched about 2 hours of filing work into about 5 1/2 days...hope no ones noticed.

8:30...horny, like always.

8:30...tired out from last night with Libby.(Wasn't even dirty kids)

8:30...I'm as pale as a ghost, saturday afternoon i'm gonna be swimming in new york, lets hope I get...at least...some sunburn for color? Fuck office jobs...

The world is a bitch this early in the morning. WTF.

This is the kinda time when a crazy-hot office lady, around my age, should most definately be taking advantage of me. What the hell right?

Ugh!

<3